Reflecting on the Grist… the inspiration and the process

In Fall 2005 I enrolled in a “research in fiction” course with Achy Obejas and a biography class with Professor Craig Howes.  In Achy’s class we learned different methods of research to make our fiction stronger, including interviewing someone.  In Craig’s class, one of our assignments was to interview someone and then transcribe the interview word and sound for word and sound.  I interviewed my father and mother-in-law about their lives in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s.  Diana shared about come-as-you-are parties and how her father played chess “long distance” with inmates from San Quentin.  Initially, I was curious about my father’s experiences when we were living in Spain when Franco ruled, but instead he shared about his experiences as a guard at San Quentin when he was attending college at UC Santa Barbara.  

It was serendipity that their interviews contained information about San Quentin, and I was able to draw on two worlds intersecting, using material from both interviews to construct this story.  

In addition, I researched young men who’d committed horrific crimes.  William is based on a real person who was left in an abandoned mine with his siblings when their father went to work.  One day, William’s father never returned.  The real person also had a deformity in his eyelid. 

It is written in third person, first from Jimmy’s perspective, and then from William’s.  Jimmy, the guard, witnesses his first execution, and he is advised by his supervisor to find a spot to focus on to help him cope with his first execution.  He is drawn to William’s hooded and ruined eye.  William, the convict, is told to find a kind face before he’s executed, and he finds one in Jimmy’s.  Their eye contact provides them with a human connection through a horrific moment, a point of grace discovered.  

Jimmy’s scenes at his parents’ home are written in present tense, while the prison scenes are written in past tense. 

I shared this story with both my father and my father’s college friend, Ernie, who had worked at San Quentin, too.  Ernie, a novelist and retired college professor, said the story took him back in time.  I am grateful for the interviews which inspired me to write about something outside my comfort zone.

It was workshopped in my writing group with Tammy, Chris, Tom, mentored by Ian MacMillan.  I included it in my MA thesis, The Grace of Dark Times.  Ian had strongly suggested I title my collection The Point of Grace, using this story as the key story in the collection.  He was incredibly gracious and supportive when I insisted on my title, which I felt reflected the entire collection, which explored dark life situations.

Ian shared with me that when he was an undergraduate taking a fiction class he ignored his professor’s advice on a rewrite.  Ian submitted the piece for publication and it was accepted.  He shared the good news with his professor who then asked about the changes.  Ian admitted that he had not followed his mentor’s advice.  His mentor congratulated him on knowing and honoring his material.  That publication earned him a spot at Iowa Writers’ Workshop, the gem of writing programs.  Ian brought the Workshop practices to University of Hawai‘i, Mānoa when he developed the creative writing program in the 1960s. 

Reflecting on the Grist… the inspiration and the process

When I returned to college to complete my BA, I was an older student… in fact, my older son’s classmates were in my classes.  So, I felt a bit out of place in the creative writing class, because everyone was writing about first love, while I was concerned about other life issues.  So, I was working out a storyline about first love to “fit in.”  I remember standing on the balcony peering into the central courtyard where plants and trees grew tall and thick and chatting with Alexei.  I had known Alexei since he was in preschool with my sons and then through high school days.  He said if he had to read another story about first love he was going to jump over the railing.  I know he was just kidding, but in my mind I thought, well, I don’t want that to happen.  And so “Reunion” was born.

I drew inspiration from many people for this story.  Alexandra’s name honors Alexei who inspired me to find a broader topic to write about, and my friend Alexis, who beat breast cancer.  My “Lanikai pals” from high school have been supportive of each other through life’s many twists and turns, but I wondered what if a childhood friend refused to love and unconditionally accept a friend’s choices.  I also drew inspiration from Paul, a man permanently injured in a car accident when he was in college, now wheelchair bound; I was impressed with his confidence and sheer sexiness.  My many gay and lesbian friends have inspired me with their courage and commitment, and I will always appreciate being invited to a wonderful wedding celebration in Seattle where family and friends lifted the brides up in love.  

In terms of place.  I intentionally located Michael and Alex’s home in town, a contrast from Rachael and Chris’s home in Punalu‘u, my home.  My description of Rachael and Chris’s haven is basically wishful dreaming that my own home could be such a place.  

There has been much written about the New York heroes of 9/11, but I wondered what if someone refused the call to enter the towers… what then?  Not everyone responds in a heroic manner when faced with challenging situations.  Tim’s enlistment is his way to atone for his sin of inaction–inaction from shock, cowardice, fear, or premonition.  

Regarding misdiagnosis issues.  Yes, it happens.  Unfortunately.  And, so I wanted to explore this a bit… Alex is unhinged from the news and still dealing with it.  

Alex’s obsession with Patrick deals with how the loss of a first love can affect the survivor.  In one of the many versions of this story, Alex and Patrick are making love when his younger brother dies from an accidental gunshot wound.  Patrick, feeling guilty, turns the gun on himself, shooting himself in the heart.  Alex believes her false-positive breast cancer diagnosis is karma for making love with Patrick when they were tasked to babysit his brother.  Too dramatic?  Some readers thought so.

It is written in first person, Alex’s point of view.  It would be interesting to explore the story from Tim’s point of view.  He comes across as so confident, but there’s a very vulnerable side to him that would be interesting to hear.

It’s written in present tense, unless Alex is journaling, and then it’s in past tense.  

This was workshopped in ENG 413 or 414 in Ian MacMillan’s class and again in my writing group under Ian’s mentorship.  It was also workshopped in Achy Obejas graduate class and was included in my MA thesis, The Grace of Dark Times.  

I have often thought about expanding it into a screenplay…

Reflecting on the Grist… 

the inspiration and the process

This story explores a “what if” a first-love couple meet up years after they broke up.  In the beginning, Lyssa is anticipating the visit, nervous about it.  Then, she reflects on the visit after the family has left.  I use the independent conversations between Lyssa and John, Kate, and Tiffany to create a picture of their lives, public and private.  Lyssa unexpectedly becomes the keeper of secrets.  It’s told in first person, from Lyssa’s point of view and is either her expectation or reflection, except when she is at the lei stands and baggage claim where she meets London. 

Lyssa’s experiences with her old lover and his family allow her to release him from her heart as a lost opportunity; her connection has shifted from John to his entire family.  The chance encounter with London, the man Lyssa meets at the airport, provides an opportunity for her to explore a new adventure.  

Although I received feedback from Ian MacMillan for many pieces over the years, his feedback on this piece in ENG 313 made me feel like a “legitimate” writer.  He marveled over the way I had handled the time jumps.  It was later workshopped in our writer’s group with Chris and Tammy, under Ian’s mentorship and included in my MA thesis, The Grace of Dark Times.  

Reflecting on the Grist… the inspiration and the process

When I was an undergraduate at University of Hawai‘i, Mānoa, I was waiting for the light to change so I could cross at the crosswalk near the parking lot.  A young student joined me, she was talking on her phone, stabbing the crosswalk button impatiently, and when the light changed she entered the crosswalk without looking for traffic.  I was mesmerized by the moon hanging in the sky, but I was aware of her crossing.  I was struck with the idea that we were so busy worrying about national safety post 9/11 (it was 2002), but we were still engaged in dangerous or careless behavior. I was always struck by the people’s behavior, their ease with lying.  Perhaps it’s always been this way, but being able to overhear people’s conversations, especially on their cell phones, gives writers a lot of material to cockroach.  And so, this became a “what if” tale.  Except for the fact that a student was on her cell phone, impatient for the light to change, and crossed without looking, all the other details are imagined.  

I turned it in for feedback in ENG 313, workshopped it with Chris and Tammy in our writing group Ian mentored, and included it in my MA thesis, The Grace of Dark Times. 

When I was working with my publisher, he suggested I update the story, and so the protagonist changes from student to teacher.  In this new version, the student is currently enrolled in the teacher’s class.

It is told in first person, past tense.  The first person voice gives us intimacy with the character, while the past tense gives us distance from the tragic event.          

Reflecting on the Grist… 

the inspiration and the process

This piece was inspired by my work as an adjunct at Windward Community College, where I had been a student in the late seventies, decades before.    

Writing it provided me with an opportunity to reflect on my life’s journey from high school to teaching, finding meaning in my experiences along the way.   

I have workshopped this with my writing friends, one suggesting I open it up into a novel.  But, whether I haven’t had the time, energy, or interest to develop it further, or whether I feel the piece is what it needs to be, simply a meditation on some of my life’s decisions and how I ended up teaching at a college that had provided me with a strong foundation in early adult life. 

It also became the foundation for a short screenplay, which was made into a short film by MFA degree-seeking students in a creative media program in Los Angeles.  The screenplay and film focus on a ghost terrorizing a professor working late at night and departs from the central focus of the memoir, reflection of a life’s journey.  

Although this is based on real events, names have been changed and some events have been conflated.

Reflecting on the Grist… 

the inspiration and the process

Our neighbor’s brother and sister-in-law were visiting from Georgia and the brother shared this story with me.  In real life, the ferret incident took place before the accident, but I took creative liberties there. In real life, the accident had taken place one Christmas day, and he sustained head injuries which left him with short-term memory loss.  Using a notebook helped him keep track, and over time his memory improved.  

The rest of the details, including the ferret’s journey through the various apartments, climbing up the pants’ leg, and heading to the pet store with multiple boxes, one inside the other, happened, according to the brother.  

It’s told in first person through Mark’s point of view in past tense.  I use time jumps to compress the story.  

I am grateful to Marty for his enthusiastic storytelling, and his generosity in allowing me to retell it.   

Reflecting on the Grist… the inspiration and the process

I was riding my bicycle from University of Hawai‘i, Mānoa to downtown Honolulu when these lines came to me:  My mother once told me that I was as trustworthy as a viper.  She should know.  It takes one to know one.  I could feel it was the beginning of a story, and I knew if I just held on to those lines, the rest would follow.  When I arrived at work, I began writing it.  It just flowed. 

It is written in first person, through Angel.  It begins and ends in present tense, and uses past tense to tell the reader about the events that lead up to Angel’s escape.   

I workshopped it in ENG 414 and with my writing group with Ian MacMillan.  Later that year, in December 2005, I performed it for a required assignment in my graduate class with Achy Obejas.  It was included in my MA thesis, The Grace of Dark Times.  

A few years later, when I was enrolled in my MFA for Professional Screenwriting program, I adapted it into a full-length screenplay.  It went through many versions, too many to keep track of.  I pulled a couple of scenes and created stand-alone short screenplays to be used by students in the creative media program, a sister program to the screenwriting one.  Different versions of the short pieces were turned into short films over four years.  It was interesting to watch characters I’d imagined come to life on the small screen.

One of the many screenplay versions was included as part of my MFA thesis.

Reflecting on the Grist… the inspiration and the process

This is a story about two people who crossed paths decades before for a short period of time–a fall semester in which he was an English teacher and she his student.  It was a difficult time for both of them for different reasons.  He holds onto the year book, even though he only taught for that one semester, and she holds onto the memory of that semester and the experiences from that class.  They cross paths at the point where they have both made life-altering choices for reasons the reader doesn’t know.  The reader might guess by her actions that something has happened to her marriage or to her husband–something too difficult to survive.  And even though there are no clues as to why Mr. Sorenson has made his choice, he has prepared for it.

The story is told in third person, beginning from his perspective and then at the point where her apology has been delivered and he falls to sleep, the perspective shifts to hers.  It is told in present tense, so the reader can feel the immediacy of their actions.  

It was workshopped in class and in my writing group, both under the mentorship of Ian MacMillan, and included in my MA thesis, The Grace of Dark Times. 

It’s been many years since this was workshopped, but I remember clearly that Ian’s feedback inspired the detail of the blade catching the medial tendon and the flaw in the wall paper.    

Reflecting on the Grist… the inspiration and the process

I don’t know where this story came from, except I borrowed details from other stories, true stories.  My older son’s classmate broke his neck at Sandys.  During an autobiographical class at University of Hawai‘i, Mānoa, I met their classmate who had been bodysurfing with him when the accident happened.  My friend Marty had been a paramedic and answered a call where a young man died of a pneumothorax wound; that incident deeply affected Marty; he felt so helpless, because at the time paramedics in his state were not authorized to treat that particular injury.  I fact checked with my classmate Dr. Tim.

In the story, there’s a stretch of road where the accident occurs.  In reality, it’s the stretch of road across from Crouching Lion, and although I have often seen rocks piled on the side of the road there, I have never seen a surfer, only fisherpeople.  

I inherited a purple troll from a family event.  The cooking classes in this story were fictional at the time I wrote this story, but in pre-COVID times, classes were taking place at the college where I teach.

Although I’ve never had to deal with the death of a child, I have friends and family members who have lost a child and then their minds for a time.  Based on their experiences, I don’t think there’s anything worse than burying a child. 

The story was workshopped under the mentorship of Ian MacMillan and included in my MA thesis, The Grace of Dark Times.

Reflecting on the Grist… the inspiration and the process for “Ellie’s Blanket”

When I was a graduate student I enrolled in a “researching for fiction” class with Achy Obejas (Pulitzer Prize, 2001).  We were tasked to learn how to do something and then weave that newly-acquired skill into a story.  The trick was to not have it read like a step-by-step, how-to process.  I decided on two options: making bio-fuel or harvesting and using wool.  Achy approved of the latter, saying it would be more tactile.  

When I was a child living in Ealing, England, one of the community services we worked on as students of Harvington School for Girls was to knit pieces that would be integrated into blankets that would be donated to an old folks home.  Each year my mother and I would knit three panels, 36 stitches across, by 3 feet long each.  Then my mother would sew them together and croquet the edge.  I remember going to bed with a few inches knitted and get up in the morning to find a long length completed by Mom.  Magic.  So much fun!  So, I already knew how to knit and I had the sheep, so I focused my research on processing the wool from harvest to the final product, a baby blanket.  I ordered equipment, and I would love to say I learned how to card and spin, but, due to time constraints, I watched videos instead. And I closely observed my sheep, particularly the ewes and lambs. 

I remember driving and thinking about the assignment, and just as I passed Kualoa Ranch I saw the story unfold backwards.  I saw Sammy sitting with a lamb in her lap.  I understood she would bury it wrapped in a blanket made from its mother’s wool.  Then the questions came.  What events had led to this point?  Who was Sammy and what had happened to her?  I asked the questions and patiently waited for the story to take shape with each answer revealed. 

It is a fictional story, and even the town where Sammy and Ben visit is fictional, but it was inspired by a tiny community on the Island of Hawai‘i near Honoka‘a from which I borrow many of my descriptions.  

This piece was turned in for Achy’s class, further work-shopped in my writing group (Tammy, Chris, Tom) mentored by Ian MacMillan.  It was included in my MA thesis collection, The Grace of Dark Times.  And I was so honored when Ian selected it for publication in the Hawai`i Review.  

I read this story at an Out Loud in the Library event at Windward Community College in the old library when I was an adjunct.  The audience was stunned when I read the ending… you could have literally heard a pin drop onto the carpet. A number of people came up afterwards telling me how it had affected them.  I also remember that my mom was there (I was thrilled!) and her phone rang in the middle of my reading.  And she answered it.  Hmmm…  😉